Some people go to Dr.Phil, some people shop!
Yes, they hop around and shop around, from boutique to showroom to 'ninetynine only' to the local supermarket...they've got it ALL covered.
There's all KINDS of shopping:
- Intentional shopping: "I really NEED stuff, let's go shop"
- Serendipity shopping: "Oh, let's JUST take a walk, we'll look around, that's all...wait..what's that...SO CUTE....I've been looking for this EVERYWHERE..I NEED it"
(In such cases, the very cute object could be a teeny tiny colourful box that you can't use for any purpose, and yet at that moment..it's all you need(read as 'want').
- Indirect shopping:"K wanted to buy some stuff..will just accompany her...help her choose...K,how does this look on me?"
- Gift shopping: This, I believe, is quite a challenge.It's best to take someone along...someone who can make up his/her mind.(I am reminded of a VERY crazy situation when this friend and I were in a gift shop for an HOUR...sniffing perfumes, striking the chimes, giggling at lovey-dovey greeting cards, discussing feng shui...just COULD'NT make a decision!!)
- Shop-lifting: No need to freak out...I have NO experience in this field.

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The Los ANGEL's times:"So, what are you reading these days, Angel?"

me:"Ahh, funny you should ask, I am currently reading a literary master-piece...the play of words, the imagery, the satire...brilliant read."


Currently on my bed is "The silly little book of 'Jokes about Girls'"...saw it at a friend's place.HAD to borrow it.
This is a colourful little book, with pictures and everything.(for those of you who look at those 2000-page books and ask, "BUT where are the pictures??")
The jokes have been cleverly categorised into:

*jokes about girls
*sisters
*girlfriends
*darling daughter
*she said that, did she?
*the love bug
*friends
*knock knock
*graffiti about girls
*girlish riddles
*there was a young lady from...
*tongue twisters

Here's the introduction :
"Whether you've got a face like a million dollars(green and wrinkly), your favourite band is "The Lice Girls", or your name is Annette Curtain, this book is an education!
For the girls amongst us, there's nothing better than having a laugh at your own funny little habits(honest!).For the rest of us, there's a treat in store.All you need is a girl to try them out on..."


LA times:"Why would YOU, a girl, want to read this book?"

me:"That's a good question.The reason is simply because of that morbid fascination...like when one watches the granny in 'The kumars at No.42'.Add to that the fact that I have sisters to try these on.A whole section dedicated to 'sisters'.Why would I let that go?"

Without further ado, Ladies and not-so-gentle men, I present to you samples:

Jayne: Do you like me?
Wayne: As girls go, you're fine.And the sooner you go, the better.

Q:What did one magician say to another?
A:who was that girl I sawed you with last night?

Q:What did the Eskimo schoolboy say to the Eskimo schoolgirl?
A:What's an ice girl like you doing in a place like this?

My sister is so dim she thinks that a cartoon is a song you sing in a car.

My sister is so stupid she thinks that aroma is someone who travels a lot.

Brother: How do you top a car?
Sister: You tep on the brake, tupid.

Q: Why couldn't your sister spell mississippi when the teacher asked her?
A: Because she didn't know if she meant the river or the state.

MY girlfriend talks so much when she goes on vacation, she has to spread suntan lotion on her tongue.

Two cannibals were having lunch.
"Your girlfriend makes great soup" said one to the other.
"yeah" agreed the first. "but I'm going to miss her terribly"

How does a witch-doctor ask a girl to dance?
"Woodoo like to dance with me?"

What did one centipede say to another?
"You've got a lovely pair of legs, pair of legs, pair of legs..."

What did one amorous fly say to another?
"I love you aw-flea"

How did the octopus lovers walk down the road?
Arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm.

What do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend?
A flat mate.

Knock knock.
who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive in this house-what are you doing here?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Elizabeth.
Elizabeth who?
Elizabeth of knowledge is a dangerous thing.

knock knock
who's there?
Sophia
Sophia who?
Sophia nothing...fear is pointless.

There was a young lady one fall.
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
the dress caught fire.
and burned her entire.
Front page, sporting section and all.

WHOA!! lots more jokes that I haven't mentioned here...
if you don't think they're funny, you're just a freckle-faced florence.(see, I'm already learning!)
Oh, right.You're too smart to laugh at these eh? I bet you can't say this 3 times...and fast! :
I saw Esau kissing Kate.
I saw Esau, he saw me.
And she saw I saw Esau.

LA times:"what's the time, ma'am?"
me:"It's just 1:26 am, why do you ask?"

In conclusion, this is ONE book you MUST hide from your pesky little brother.
_________________________________________

[P.S: I typed out ALL those jokes, so you better be laughing out loud, mister!! bonus points if you fall off your chair.]

The End -Matthew West
Well it was raining when I woke up this morning
So, to escape it I went back to bed
But then the rain started leaking through the ceiling
And pretty soon it was pouring on my head
Sometimes it follows you home
Like an old stray dog, it won't leave you alone

Chorus:
It's not the end
The end of the world
It's just another day depending on grace
It's not the end
The end of the world
It's just another day, don't sleep it all away

So I jumped into my car and hit the freeway
Found a sunny spot so I could work on my tan
But just as soon as I stepped one foot in the ocean
From out of nowhere it came pouring down again
Sometimes it rains all over your parade
It's like you're reaching for the sun, and you're landing in the shade

Bridge:
Well, the moral of the story is
Sometimes life takes so much more than it gives
But the one who makes the air I breathe
Is the one who'll fix the ceiling when it starts to leak
It may look like the end but it's only the beginning

Cause It's not the end
It's not the end of the world
It's just another day
It's not the end
It's not the end of the world,
No, it's not the end
It's not the end
Still not the end
It's not the end
I bet you're wondering when this song's gonna end
But it's not the end
Cause I'm singing this song and I get to decide when it's the end
And it's not the end
Well it's almost the end
I guess you could say it's nearing the end
But it's not the end
It's not the end
It's not the end
It's almost the end
Ok I think it's the end

Hmmm. That is one song that's fun to listen to.This song is one of those travel songs...you can play it in your car and look out the window(if you're not driving) and think "this is the life!!" while you laugh at this singer's bad day.
Bad day.Hey! that was today....

I woke up at eight.I looked at the ceiling fan for a good ten minutes, thinking.."a new day, new beginning, new opportunities!!" (yeah, a melodramatic beginning).
And then, I slowly rubbed my eyes and realised "today is not monday, not tuesday........it's friday!!" UP UP UP!! wake up!
This is the reason why I have never understood the phrase 'up-at-dawn'.

Friday is a full day at college, 9 to 5.As I get ready in the morning, I wonder if I've forgotten to do SOME work that had to be done by today...
I pull out something to wear while I tell myself I need more clothes.I do that every morning.
I look at myself in the mirror.No zits today.So far, so good.OR not.I look at my hair.No, no silky shine today, folks.It's the wispy unkempt look today then.It's one of those dreadful BAD HAIR DAYS.I remind myself to get a funky haircut this weekend.
My mom is trying to fix me breakfast...time's ticking...I tell her it's too late and manage with some grape juice and watermelon.And that would've been a 'healthy' breakfast if I was a salad person.Except,I'm not.
I reach college JUST in time...I enter Graphics Lab and then it hits me...I had to prepare the programs for today.By the time I think up a good reason for not doing so,
I hear my very stern lecturer telling me to "go to the library, write the programs and THEN enter the lab."
OK sir, I will.I walk out of the lab...not emotionally hurt, just bummed.I look back to find two of my kind, marching to the library.We're a team against the system.We crib about the management and the 'infrastructure'.We all know we've been careless and lazy and irresponsible(err..is it just ME?)...but hey, it's the wrong time to talk about that kinda stuff!
Well, we somehow make it through lab and I even find time to grab a chocolate bun for my poor tummy.Soon, one theory class is out of the way.Time for lunch!A large group of us, all talking at the same time, and passing food around...someone asks ant-elephant questions, someone asks questions from Shakuntala Devi's 'Puzzles to Puzzle you'(imaginative title, too!), some discuss movies and books.Not me, I'm in a small group discussing hair.My eager-to-help friends tell me I need a "feather cut. no wait, your hair is thick, you should try step or maybe razor cut.it's in."
Some nitwits clarify if it's 'razor cut' or a 'laser cut'..."they cut your hair with a laser beam??"Go on, roll your eyes.
Speaking of cuts, cut to me.At four pm.Last hour cancelled.My buddy and I take two cups of coffee to the brood of bored youth.The cups are passed around quickly and somehow, as always...I end up with empty cups in my hand. Why me?? Because I want to save the world.I can't throw crushed plastic cups on the grass.In my book,it's a sin.They know it.And that's why my bag is full of chocolate and gum wrappers.I don't sit down on the pavement.I explain that my new cotton pants might get dirty...I hear the usual 'oohs' and 'aahs' and I shrug.It would've been a cool thing, too.BUT NO, this is me, remember?? Good old, animated me.I shrug with too much vigour and coffee from the SUPPOSED-TO-BE-EMPTY cups spills over my new pants.GREAT.A few mocking laughs later, the nuts actually help me get rid of the stains.I tell myself I'll live.
An hour later, I get home, knock on my door and guess who opens the door?My 9 year old niece.She's visiting with her sister, a six year old.I tell myself "today's not over.YET."
My nieces are a joy to play with, but babysitting them is a job for the valiant.They cling on to me and ask me questions.Most of them, I don't want to answer.Some of them, I can't.
The six year old has just learnt the art of entertaining a crowd with a game of Dumb Charades.She makes gestures in the air and tells me to guess.I try to give smart answers.
I could go on about the rest of my day...but I won't.

To cut a long, very detailed story short, I somehow made it to a music event in the evening...dragged my nieces along, too.They had a blast.And soon, I was singing my way out of the blues.

Sometimes it follows you home
Like an old stray dog, it won't leave you alone.

But it's not the end.

For most of my month long vacation I was glued to my computer, Gracy.Yeah, we named her.My cousin also took pains to clarify if we actually meant 'crazy'...come to think of it, maybe he was referring to us.hmmm (note to self: whack wisecracking cousin later).Yeah, so I've been mailing, chatting, blogging(what's with the giggling??),gathering information(and grogginess)...

Then came the highlight of the month. A trip to Delhi, not that I am crazy about the city, but anything that's different from the usual schedule gets me excited.Since I (in some spaced out state)had declared publicly that I like folding clothes...my sis somehow got me to do the packing...I did enjoy it..but of course, a whine here and there added to the merriment.

So, here we were, My sis N and me, somewhat ready for our LONG journey.
My parents come to see us off at the station..my mom , as usual was offering her last minute advice:"don't talk to strangers" "drink only bottled water" "don't react to any glances" "keep your sweaters ready when it gets cold" and N and I replied with an embarrassed,"YES, we know, maaaaa"
Our little family meeting was in full swing, when my mom saw our journey buddies...Six men, all soldiers(or future soldiers)clad in the green army uniform...each giving N and I looks that said,"HELLO, there". "bon voyage to US"
And motormouth N was talking nonstop so mom would stop worrying about us, and my mom was silent, staring at the faujis, trying to think of some reason for us to unboard the locomotive that very instant.Something about the train whistle told her it was too late for that.

Time was SOMEHOW passed on the train... surviving loud soldiers, cold stares, smells of undeterminate origins, diluted tea and coffee.Even conversations in the adjacent compartment became boring, that's how long the journey was.But yeah, Dan Brown was keeping me occupied...and of course after every 5-6 chapters,I narrated 'the story so far' to my sister...she's gonna scream the next time she hears the term 'albino monk'.
When we finally reached Delhi,I wanted to kiss the platform.(I did NOT.If you don't know why, you've been travelling by flight for too long!).
We spent a week there...shopping,socialising, sight-seeing(Does window shopping come under sight-seeing??).Since I insisted on never leaving Delhi till we went to Agra and saw the Taj, we HAD to go.(the youngest ones always win!!).So, we got up early one morning(nah, not 9, even earlier, try 5)and boarded the train to Agra...once there, we boarded a rickety cycle rickshaw, reached the entrance to the Taj, and my sister says,"let's grab breakfast"...I was THIS close to the Taj...and she's talking about breakfast.I've never eaten SO fast in my life...

Have I mentioned I get hysterical when I'm before a monument?
I tried photographing at never-before-tried angles, staring at the mausoleum for the longest time, nodding at nothing and trying to find hidden meanings in the symbols on the building. Actually I was nodding, thinking, "geez, look at ALL that marble!!".I also listened in on tour guides' LONG lectures on Shah Jahan's workers, Akbar's wives, Aurangzeb's fondness for liquor AND, I've heard, sometimes they even add in some film and politics for that complete INDIAN experience!

From what they've left behind, it's quite clear the Moghuls really were very excellent, diligent, creative and passionately extravagant. It was really very inspiring to catch a glimpse of this edifice.More than a glimpse actually.In fact I just couldn't walk with my back facing it.I walked backwards, facing it, 'coz I couldn't take my eyes off it.
I know, I should go out more.

.....and I know you're ready to beat me up.....heehee!!
Sorry folks, I was away for about 10 days....went to the Capital for an official business meeting thingy...yeah yeah I'm lying...went to meet my sis and also made a trip to Agra to (finally)see the TAJ...which,even though cliche, I must say is SIMPLY INCREDIBLE...beautiful...and HUGE too, should I continue and talk about the emblem of undying love that it is??
*yawn* maybe later!
A fun trip altogether!!
I have some ideas for future blog posts...a result of spending 1 1/2 days in the train...can we say BORING!!!!
Thanx to the train journey I know about a hundred ways to say 'chai'( "chayeee", "chaayaa","chaaaa")phew!
and I have NO idea how I survived ten days without the internet...there IS life out there...who knew??
and I was SO touched by the comments on my blog, that shout out loud about how I am missed(that's how I took it...).So this is my "I"M BAAAAAAACK" post...will post more soon....
thanks to all you guys for waiting...
So, while I hear you say "THAT'S IT???"...I must bid farewell...only to return with something worthwhile...or maybe stick to my pattern of posting little scraps of nothing.