A biblioFILE

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The Los ANGEL's times:"So, what are you reading these days, Angel?"

me:"Ahh, funny you should ask, I am currently reading a literary master-piece...the play of words, the imagery, the satire...brilliant read."


Currently on my bed is "The silly little book of 'Jokes about Girls'"...saw it at a friend's place.HAD to borrow it.
This is a colourful little book, with pictures and everything.(for those of you who look at those 2000-page books and ask, "BUT where are the pictures??")
The jokes have been cleverly categorised into:

*jokes about girls
*sisters
*girlfriends
*darling daughter
*she said that, did she?
*the love bug
*friends
*knock knock
*graffiti about girls
*girlish riddles
*there was a young lady from...
*tongue twisters

Here's the introduction :
"Whether you've got a face like a million dollars(green and wrinkly), your favourite band is "The Lice Girls", or your name is Annette Curtain, this book is an education!
For the girls amongst us, there's nothing better than having a laugh at your own funny little habits(honest!).For the rest of us, there's a treat in store.All you need is a girl to try them out on..."


LA times:"Why would YOU, a girl, want to read this book?"

me:"That's a good question.The reason is simply because of that morbid fascination...like when one watches the granny in 'The kumars at No.42'.Add to that the fact that I have sisters to try these on.A whole section dedicated to 'sisters'.Why would I let that go?"


Without further ado, Ladies and not-so-gentle men, I present to you samples:

Jayne: Do you like me?
Wayne: As girls go, you're fine.And the sooner you go, the better.

Q:What did one magician say to another?
A:who was that girl I sawed you with last night?

Q:What did the Eskimo schoolboy say to the Eskimo schoolgirl?
A:What's an ice girl like you doing in a place like this?

My sister is so dim she thinks that a cartoon is a song you sing in a car.

My sister is so stupid she thinks that aroma is someone who travels a lot.

Brother: How do you top a car?
Sister: You tep on the brake, tupid.

Q: Why couldn't your sister spell mississippi when the teacher asked her?
A: Because she didn't know if she meant the river or the state.

MY girlfriend talks so much when she goes on vacation, she has to spread suntan lotion on her tongue.

Two cannibals were having lunch.
"Your girlfriend makes great soup" said one to the other.
"yeah" agreed the first. "but I'm going to miss her terribly"

How does a witch-doctor ask a girl to dance?
"Woodoo like to dance with me?"

What did one centipede say to another?
"You've got a lovely pair of legs, pair of legs, pair of legs..."

What did one amorous fly say to another?
"I love you aw-flea"

How did the octopus lovers walk down the road?
Arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm.

What do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend?
A flat mate.

Knock knock.
who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive in this house-what are you doing here?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Elizabeth.
Elizabeth who?
Elizabeth of knowledge is a dangerous thing.

knock knock
who's there?
Sophia
Sophia who?
Sophia nothing...fear is pointless.

There was a young lady one fall.
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
the dress caught fire.
and burned her entire.
Front page, sporting section and all.

WHOA!! lots more jokes that I haven't mentioned here...
if you don't think they're funny, you're just a freckle-faced florence.(see, I'm already learning!)
Oh, right.You're too smart to laugh at these eh? I bet you can't say this 3 times...and fast! :
I saw Esau kissing Kate.
I saw Esau, he saw me.
And she saw I saw Esau.

LA times:"what's the time, ma'am?"
me:"It's just 1:26 am, why do you ask?"


In conclusion, this is ONE book you MUST hide from your pesky little brother.
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[P.S: I typed out ALL those jokes, so you better be laughing out loud, mister!! bonus points if you fall off your chair.]

16 Responses to “A biblioFILE”

  1. # Blogger Densel Mayor

    poor dear.. atleast your typing skills are getting much better with the practice :D...

    *ducks*  

  2. # Blogger Vignesh

    Hmmm... what made me laugh really hard was the fact that you actually typed out all these jokes... that too at some Godforsaken hour in the morning ! Hilarious stuff !!  

  3. # Blogger Grafxgurl

    lol.. youre too cute..
    long time since i sat down and actually read through a joke book.. i liked the 'tupid" joke..
    had a cousin who talked like that,..lol. was hilarious!! poor guy..  

  4. # Blogger Grafxgurl

    oi! your officially in my tin now.. another sardine.. eeeeeee!!!  

  5. # Blogger Loonie

    hey! Awesome jokes!!
    Yeah this one.."My sister is so stupid she thinks that aroma is someone who travels a lot." he he...I loved them!  

  6. # Blogger Sagnik Nandy

    (a) clap clap for typing it out
    (b) thanks for the really cool set of jokes

    when i was young my dad gave me and my sis somethin called "the best of rugby jokes" thinking that it will be sports based jokes only to find out later that the jokes were anything but suitable for the lil ones :)  

  7. # Blogger Angel

    @densel: *taps fingers on desk* :|

    @Vig: glad to amuse you, pal.

    @Grrl: me?cute? oh, top it already :P
    and, as I said, thanks for dumping me into your lovely tin :D

    @loonie: :) glad u like!

    @sagnik: thanks!now you can go around cracking these jokes with a staged spontaneity ;)  

  8. # Blogger Amit

    Gee...you've said a lot of bad things about your sister...

    quoted - "My sister is so dim she thinks that a cartoon is a song you sing in a car.

    My sister is so stupid she thinks that aroma is someone who travels a lot."

    Don't you think you should try to help her improve instead of making jokes(excellent ones though) about her?? ;-)

    *dashes for shelter amongst airborne footwear and slightly decaying vegetables*

    PS: Hmm.."Dashes for shelter"..maybe thats what they call "Dashing" as in "a dashing young man"...oh..don't mind me, I'm just irrevocably insane.  

  9. # Blogger Swaroop C H

    I just absolutely dig the "Los Angel Times" part!

    You were reading this book till 4 am? Yikes.

    - Swaroop
    www.swaroopch.info  

  10. # Blogger Angel

    @amit: irrevocable eh? tch tch tch...too bad.
    @swaroop: nah, not 4am, just 2:30 :P
    cmon, didnt u read that on the LA times frontpage??  

  11. # Blogger jax

    hee-lay-ree-ous!!

    knock knock jokes win hands down any day!! i can start laughing
    just as soon as I hear the knock!:D

    i love these mcp jokes too -

    q: why did the woman cross the street?
    a: wait a second...what the hell was she doing outside her kitchen?:D  

  12. # Blogger Angel

    Jax: :O mcp jokes? :|
    *wonders if that good old joke abt God creating woman coz he thought he could do better would be appropriate here*  

  13. # Anonymous aryan_ed

    hey ! just got back from a trip to goa and these jokes really helped me get over my holidays withdrawal symptoms ! and i did fall out of my chair laughing, so bonus points for me and now u should go and check out my blog :) just started off at http://theimmortalverses.blogspot.com/  

  14. # Blogger Angel

    @aryan:YAY! bonus points to you!15029309232 more and you can go on an all expenses paid trip to Mars!

    btw, checked out your blog...nice!left u a comment! :D  

  15. # Blogger Kumari

    :-D
    Amazing stuff...just the right dash of humour to start my day!  

  16. # Blogger Angel

    @Kumari: :D  

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